I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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