Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
