alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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