did you get engaged???
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
