no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
