just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
