I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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