Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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