i permit you to call me
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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