found the other keg... it's in the tree
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
