That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
