Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
