i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
