and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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