don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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