Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
