She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
