ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
