I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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