$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
