i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
