I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
