i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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