her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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