I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
