I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize