I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
