everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She's the barista slut.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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