i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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