the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize