He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
