her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
