My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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