Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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