Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
