I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
