I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize