Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My vagina is officially offended.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
