Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
