I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize