well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
