Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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