She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
