Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
