I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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