drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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