DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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