glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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