are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Randomize