Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
