I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There r osticjed everywhere
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
