Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
