I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
