It's Friday. Sex?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
