shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
