They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
