I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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