You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
