You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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