new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
