I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
