Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
