I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
