I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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